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Posts Tagged ‘Technology’

  1. Return of the Man

    February 6, 2012 by Tinkerbell Jayne

    My goodness, its been an excessively long time since I logged into my own little online world. I have been off the blogging radar for a while now, mostly due to a complete lack of motivation, but with a New Year must come a Fresh Start (or just picking up where I left off, but with a more enthusiastic approach). But I am back, and I am back to do what I do best:

    Rant about Life and Bitch about the Male Species! Yeah!

    Or, maybe just one male in particular this time; yes, thats right my invisible chums, I have achieved various things during my recent months of online silence, but the most surprising of all has to be bagging a boyfriend!

    [Other achievements gained during this time include a promotion at work - pat on the back for me - and 57 heavy hangovers - just a rough calculation]

    The last time I wrote to you my posts were becoming somewhat moody. 18 months I had been on the singles market; I had met the good (who never really turned out good) I’d met the bad (normally nutcases) and I’d met the dam right ugly, and even they were hopeless. I had attempted set-ups through my friends, online dating, even re-kindling old (burnt out) flames, and goodness knows what else. Yet still no sign of prince charming, not even a slightly dumbed down less attractive prince charming.  Until one not-so-special Friday evening, when I had been dragged out against my will by some friends, I randomly met him in a bar. A bar!? The good old fashioned way to meet someone! I’d almost given up hope you could meet a stranger in a bar and live happily ever after. But there I was, September just gone, on a warm Friday evening, knocking back whisky & cokes in an overcrowded rock bar in the heart of London – and I met Larzy.

    Now, normally when I have an encounter with a man in a bar, I try way too hard to please them, agree with everything they say, and maybe even embarrass myself by getting a little desperate and clingy. I would normally convince myself ‘I really like him’ when I really barely know him, but I clearly just craved some sort of attention in that typical needy way that a lot of females do. This would often result in nothing but unnecessary disappointment when I would realise I’d wasted my time, or they would realise this first, leaving me high and dry and thus I would never hear from them again.

    Yawn. It had all gotten so predictable.

    But not with Larzy. This was a very different meeting, very different indeed. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all soppy, and tell a tale of how two souls destined to be together, met in a crowded room and fell in-love instantly. No. Quite the opposite. Because I was fairly drunk, but he was even more so. And although I initially fancied the pants off Larzy, an hour in his company and I realised he was a worse drunk than I was. Nothing but a liability; spilling drinks, knocking into people and generally pissing people off (including me). He couldn’t remember my name, not even after the sixth time I had repeated it. He was stealing my drinks and refusing to buy me any back. Just a big tall handsome drunk liability. Upon realising this, something must have happened – whether my guard was let down, or I just decided that he was probably too wasted to try it on with me even if we both wanted him to – I suddenly stopped trying to impress him and actually started having fun with him. This changed things.

    Two hours into his company, we were drinking rum on the night bus home together and having long discussions about Family Guy. Out of all the goodies, the baddies and the uglies that I’d dated over the previous 18 months, I’d never met anyone I felt so utterlly compelled to hang out with the way I felt compelled to hang out with Larzy – fair enough we were highly intoxicated, and like I said, him a fair bit more than me, but what some people call drunk, I now like to call accidental chemistry!

    Anywho, as much as I liked him, and as much fun as I had, my previous experiences had left me mentally scarred and paranoid, therefore before Larzy was even saying goodbye to me, I had already emotionally prepared myself for the disappointment of never hearing from yet another stranger in a bar.

    So it was a very pleasant surprise to hear from him straight away, and an even nicer surprise to find out just how well we clicked in the sober world. And the rest as they say is history! Well maybe. Sort of. Im slowly discovering again that being in a relationship can be just as problematic as being single. And not forgetting, Im a woman, we are the deadliest and scariest of all the species – and we are never satisfied. We nag, we complain and we question everything, and no doubt thats just some of the fun the future will bring for Larzy and me.

    Watch this space chums!


  2. Is there any Truth in Online Dating?

    March 15, 2011 by Tinkerbell Jayne

     

    So I decided to go on an adventure. This adventure is called Online Dating.

    Just like any form of dating whether it be blind dating, speed dating, or just general bar hopping; Id heard some good stories and Id heard some bad. The good stories included online dates that developed into wonderful friendships, some steamy encounters, long-term relationships and even a marriage. The bad stories included, well, some very bad dates.

    A friend of mine explained a story about a really nice guy she was talking to online for several weeks, she told me she had good conversation with him and his pictures looked great, so after a lot of getting to know each other via the web, they finally decided to meet up. She recalled how she got a bit of a shock when her date arrived and gave her a big smile, revealing “about five” missing front teeth. And the ones that were left were not looking so hygienic. Only then did she remember that not one of his pictures on his profile had shown him smiling open mouthed.

    Fail!

    Another pal of mine told me how she met a guy online who looked gorgeous in his online profile pictures – with all his teeth! She was desperate to snatch him up before someone else did. Worried that he might lose interest if she tried to slowly get to know him first, after swapping just a few brief messages with him, she arranged to meet him for a hot date. Had she gotten to know him first, my friend wouldn’t have been so shocked (and slightly terrified) when her hot date opened up the evening with a conversation about his extreme rubber gloves fetish, confessing he had been looking for someone to fulfil some his rubber glove fantasy!

    Scary!

    Now, Im not one to judge – okay so I can judge a fair bit – but if someone has a fetish for rubber gloves, or a fetish of any sort, thats their prerogative. But had my friend met this guy in a bar, its unlikely he would have opened up with a chat-up line about getting her into a kinky pair of yellow marigolds and have her wash-up in front of him. Yet, because their first encounter was on a website, and because they met-up with very little knowledge of each other, he took their meeting as an opportunity to find a stranger to fulfil his fantasies (marigolds-man needs to realise there are other kind of websites for that!) Having said this, had my friend taken the time to converse with him a little more and get to know him, maybe they wouldn’t have been complete strangers.

    As for the teeth bloke, or rather no-teeth bloke, I think that was just silly (and a tad ambitious of him). My friend was mildly gutted about her no-teeth guy, she felt she had invested good time (and lots of megabytes) in getting to know him, but most of all she was concerned that she was being really shallow. However, after a long hard think, she reassured herself that physical attraction to a partner, or a potential partner, is vital – as well as good dental hygiene!

    Despite hearing these two somewhat creepy stories, and others, the good stories stayed at the forefront of my mind and I decided to go ahead and give it a go. And after hearing the horror stories of online dating, I felt like I knew all the rules, all the do’s and dont’s and I definitely had it in the bag.

    I was advised by friends to treat online dating just as normal dating, if a guy approached me in a bar and said “Nice Tits” I wouldnit speak to him. Its the same online. If a guy sent me a message with any sort of pervy/tacky/creepy line, I wouldn’t speak to him. Block straight away.

    I was honest in my profile, I kept the description of myself and my interests short but sweet, simply explaining where Im from, what I do, and I listed of few likes and dislikes. I put up a few photos from nights out in which I think I look nice, but I also put up some not-so great photos. Theyre not terrible photos, no-one needs to see how rough I can look first thing in the morning or last thing at night, but just more average photos of myself, were Im not caked in make-up. I made a rule that if I met someone online, I would chat to them and get to know them a little before meeting up. And of course I had to like their photos (which must include teeth-shots).

    I got talking to a guy who contacted me with a really cute message. Lets call him The Officer, as he was in fact a Police Officer. We spoke for three weeks before meeting; lots of long emails and even more texting. We had great banter, and he looked great in his photos. It was so strange, but I actually felt smitten – with someone Id never met. Weird. I felt like I knew him really well. I was uber-excited about meeting him. We arranged to meet in central London after work one evening for drinks, I even went out and bought a new outfit (sad!), and on the day of the date I was sick with nerves all afternoon.

    And soon it was time to meet my Officer.

    Don’t worry, no scary story, he had all his teeth and didnt announce any sort of weird fetish. But he was stood at our meeting point, and as I walked closer to greet him, I realised that he wasnt as tall as he had said in his profile; in fact you wouldnt really class him as a tall bloke. His profile had said 6ft. Now, Im not a mega tall girl, around 5’6, but there was no way he was 6ft, because if he was 6ft, then that means Im 6ft too!

    I dont have some pretentious rule against dating short guys; in fact I was once upon a time crazy about a guy who was a wee little-un, and I was madly in-love with his little short arse. I just didnt understand why the Officer had lied about his height. He was obviously insecure about it – that was the only reason I could think of. Luckily I was wearing flats, but I imagine had I turned up in heels, he probably would have felt sufficiently awkward and embarrassed, as I would have towered above him. Which ultimately would have made me feel – and look – really uncomfortable.

    But it seemed he felt awkward enough anyway, or maybe I was just as much as a disappointment to him too, because as pleasant as the date was, it became obvious that neither of us were really feeling it. I felt so let down that he’d lied that there was a slight sense of discomfort in the air. The amazing viral banter we’d had unfortunately failed to convert to real life conversation.

    We thanked each other for a nice evening and both ended the date with “it was nice to meet you” which is basically code for “I probably won’t see you ever again”. And me and the Officer haven’t spoken since.

    Like I said, it was no horror story, it was fairly pleasant, and for my first ever online date, I suppose it didn’t go down too bad. But lying about your height? Really? I don’t get it. Did the Officer think I was that stupid that I wouldn’t notice … it’s actually a tad insulting.

    Fortunately, it wasn’t enough to scare me off, make me delete my profile and run to the nearest bar to find a date the old-fashioned way … Im going to stick it out and try again. But I just think the best policy when it comes to all this internet dating is to be honest. Whether its that youre missing several teeth or you dont come up too tall, or even that you think youre too tall, just be honest. Surely the one big pro of internet dating is that you have the means to search for someone who shares your interests, or even your fears, or someone who is even the perfect height?

    Although I think people with obscure fetishes should leave that information off their online profiles. Maybe save Fetish-confession time for much, much further into a relationship!