My goodness, its been an excessively long time since I logged into my own little online world. I have been off the blogging radar for a while now, mostly due to a complete lack of motivation, but with a New Year must come a Fresh Start (or just picking up where I left off, but with a more enthusiastic approach). But I am back, and I am back to do what I do best:
Rant about Life and Bitch about the Male Species! Yeah!
Or, maybe just one male in particular this time; yes, thats right my invisible chums, I have achieved various things during my recent months of online silence, but the most surprising of all has to be bagging a boyfriend!
[Other achievements gained during this time include a promotion at work - pat on the back for me - and 57 heavy hangovers - just a rough calculation]
The last time I wrote to you my posts were becoming somewhat moody. 18 months I had been on the singles market; I had met the good (who never really turned out good) I’d met the bad (normally nutcases) and I’d met the dam right ugly, and even they were hopeless. I had attempted set-ups through my friends, online dating, even re-kindling old (burnt out) flames, and goodness knows what else. Yet still no sign of prince charming, not even a slightly dumbed down less attractive prince charming. Until one not-so-special Friday evening, when I had been dragged out against my will by some friends, I randomly met him in a bar. A bar!? The good old fashioned way to meet someone! I’d almost given up hope you could meet a stranger in a bar and live happily ever after. But there I was, September just gone, on a warm Friday evening, knocking back whisky & cokes in an overcrowded rock bar in the heart of London – and I met Larzy.
Now, normally when I have an encounter with a man in a bar, I try way too hard to please them, agree with everything they say, and maybe even embarrass myself by getting a little desperate and clingy. I would normally convince myself ‘I really like him’ when I really barely know him, but I clearly just craved some sort of attention in that typical needy way that a lot of females do. This would often result in nothing but unnecessary disappointment when I would realise I’d wasted my time, or they would realise this first, leaving me high and dry and thus I would never hear from them again.
Yawn. It had all gotten so predictable.
But not with Larzy. This was a very different meeting, very different indeed. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all soppy, and tell a tale of how two souls destined to be together, met in a crowded room and fell in-love instantly. No. Quite the opposite. Because I was fairly drunk, but he was even more so. And although I initially fancied the pants off Larzy, an hour in his company and I realised he was a worse drunk than I was. Nothing but a liability; spilling drinks, knocking into people and generally pissing people off (including me). He couldn’t remember my name, not even after the sixth time I had repeated it. He was stealing my drinks and refusing to buy me any back. Just a big tall handsome drunk liability. Upon realising this, something must have happened – whether my guard was let down, or I just decided that he was probably too wasted to try it on with me even if we both wanted him to – I suddenly stopped trying to impress him and actually started having fun with him. This changed things.
Two hours into his company, we were drinking rum on the night bus home together and having long discussions about Family Guy. Out of all the goodies, the baddies and the uglies that I’d dated over the previous 18 months, I’d never met anyone I felt so utterlly compelled to hang out with the way I felt compelled to hang out with Larzy – fair enough we were highly intoxicated, and like I said, him a fair bit more than me, but what some people call drunk, I now like to call accidental chemistry!
Anywho, as much as I liked him, and as much fun as I had, my previous experiences had left me mentally scarred and paranoid, therefore before Larzy was even saying goodbye to me, I had already emotionally prepared myself for the disappointment of never hearing from yet another stranger in a bar.
So it was a very pleasant surprise to hear from him straight away, and an even nicer surprise to find out just how well we clicked in the sober world. And the rest as they say is history! Well maybe. Sort of. Im slowly discovering again that being in a relationship can be just as problematic as being single. And not forgetting, Im a woman, we are the deadliest and scariest of all the species – and we are never satisfied. We nag, we complain and we question everything, and no doubt thats just some of the fun the future will bring for Larzy and me.
Watch this space chums!