Long time, no blog. Wow. What a crazy few months that no one in particular has missed. Let’s review what’s happened to Tinkerbell Jayne in these recent dark times:

• I got Chober© – went 46 days straight without a drop, or should I say crumb
• I fell off the wagon on Day 47 – Easter Sunday – and binged on an assortment of very high calorie chocolate treats for approximately 12 hours
• I aged an entire a year, not just a week or two, an entire year. One day I was 23, and then the next day – Poof – I was 24. Unfair
• I got dumped by the boyfriend. By text. Unfair
• The old housemates flew the nest, and I auditioned two new strangers to take their place, much like Big Brother. Unfortunately the wardrobe that holds the gateway to Narnia is still present in my living room, but this is soon to be removed. Hopefully chopped up into a thousand pieces by the means of a big fat sharp axe.
• Erm . . . I got dumped. By text.
• Bumped into ex-supermodel/American reality TV star/I’m A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here runner-up Janice Dickinson and shared a delightful conversation and snog with her
• Hmmm – did I mention I got dumped?
• . . .by text?
• I got my hair cut, at some point, but then it grew again.

I promise not to be such a lazy blogger from now on

Tinkerbell Jayne is furious!

Why do certain housemates of mine seem to think it’s okay to turn shared living quarters, into their own walk-in wardrobes?? ‘She’ has put a six foot, 3-door wardrobe in the living room. Smack bang right in front of the window. Blocking out most of the daylight. It’s so unnecessarily big I’m suprised I didn’t see Narnia when I opened it.

I know we struggle for storage, but it’s tiny flat share, we’re all cramming for space and ‘She’ buys herself a third wardrobe. Yes, thats a right, a third. Three. Three wardrobes in one tiny apartment. And out of three wardrobes, only one of them is actually in her bedroom. What next? Bunk Beds in the bathroom? Dressing table in the kitchen?

Tinkerbell Jayne does not care for big wooden coffin styled cupboards blocking her pretty London daylight. But when Tinkerbell Jayne confronted her (through the means of a friendly, polite email as ‘She’ is as tad bit Scary when provoked), ‘She’ throws a hissy fit and decides to make up a list of cruel lies about Tinkerbell Jayne.

I’ll admit, one or two were true, like the time I borrowed her Blockbuster card to rent out DVDs, and forgot to take them back and got a fine on the account. But, I paid up straight away and sincerely apologised. However, accusing Tinkerbell Jayne of being inconsiderate towards others is so untrue (this coming from the girl who hogs the sofa everynight, so that you are forced to eat on the floor like you’re in some sort of Japanese resturant, or you give up and have to go and chill out in your room – which does NOT have a TV).

Ah, Tinkerbell Jayne is angry!