I owe you one big fat apology…
As a teenage girl I watched you and your three best friends strutt across my screen every week, demonstrating to the world that women can have sex just like a man, we can talk like a man, and proving that unmarried women in their 30’s are not dried-up old spinsters who have something wrong with them, but they are simply Single & Fabulous!
But as my friends and I watched you and the gals each week (not to mention every weekend during DVD marathons) we would bicker over who in the group was most like Carrie. Because yeah, we basically all fancied ourselves as bonafide Carrie Bradshaw’s.
“I am such a Carrie”
“No – I’m a such Carrie”
“No me, I’m the shopaholic”
“Yeah but I’m the writer”
“But I have more shoes than you!”
“Yes but I have the blonde curls!”
We still adored Charlotte for her child-like naivety (and her classic beauty) and occasionally we all wanted to be Samantha, or at least have her balls and her sass. But nine times out of ten, we were all clinging onto our dreams of becoming sexy, cute, flirty, funny little Carrie Bradshaw’s.
But, my dear Miranda, none of us wanted to be like you.
None of us wanted to be the intelligent, successful, beautiful red-head lawyer that had her shit together. Nope. Instead we all obsessed over your best friend, the whiney, obsessive, repetitive, shoeaholic, Carrie Bradshaw. And for that, I sincerely apologise.
Don’t get me wrong, I still adore all four of you. You and the girls are still my go-to-show when there’s nothing on TV and I’ve had my fill of e4’s Big Bang Theory marathons. I can still recite most of the episodes off by heart and the Samantha & Maria fight scene is still one of my favourite TV scenes EVER (you wanna fireworks? I’ll show you fireworks!)
But Watching the show now, 18 years on from the Pilot, and as a 30 year old woman myself, I feel guilt. Guilt for completely failing to appreciate the one woman on the show who was actually real – you! Yes you obsessed over men, but you didn’t make your whole life about them, unlike Carrie and Charlotte who spent their entire time focused on the opposite sex, giving the impression that it’s totally normal to spend nearly all of your time either hunting for a husband or obsessing over a guy.
Over the entire six seasons, across 94 episodes, you were the only one to call Carrie out on her tooing and froing with a man who continually fed her BS, screwed her over and made her feel worthless, warning her “he is bad for you” and “I’m not holding your hand through this again” … but of course you did, because that’s what friends do.
You also called her out when she bribed her way into your apartment with bagels and used them as a decoy to talk about herself. And Aiden. And their problems. Again. My God Miranda, how did you put up with her?
You are the only one of the four woman to not give a flying fudge about your man’s wealth and status, ditching a hot wealthy doctor to be with your true love, the uni-ball bar tender who lived in a basement.
For you Miranda Hobbes, the climax of the Sex and the City series wasn’t about dumping one rich guy to run back to the other rich guy, the same guy who had strung you along for six years, but had now finally decided he was ready to commit. No, for you Miranda, it was about making important changes, it was about giving up your ‘wants’ for the important needs of your family, including moving in your elderly mother-in-law.
As for Fashion, you upped your style game throughout the series, but you also walked around New York City in dungarees, baggy sweats, baseball caps and trainers (ahem, sneakers). When you were alone in your apartment you weren’t lying around in push up bra’s, hot pants and silk kimonos, you wore more baggy sweats and XL t-shirts BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT REAL WOMEN DO.
Whilst we watched Samantha have the best sex of her life with Smith, Carrie moan over her crappy sex with Berger and Charlotte announce she was to become a Jew, what did we watch you do Miranda? Binge watch a British TV Drama on TiVo. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT REAL WOMEN DO (except these days it’s Netflix)
On your honeymoon with Steve, you got very stressed out about leaving your cell phone charger at home and the lack of wifi at the cabin BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT REAL WOMEN DO
When you rushed off to Mexico because, once again, Big screwed over Carrie *Yawn* you didn’t have time to get a bikini wax and then completely forgot to do anything about it BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT REAL WOMEN DO.
You went straight from a Weight Watchers Meeting to a Krispy Kremes to eat donuts BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT REAL WOMEN DO.
Sorry for completely misjudging you when I was a teenager, and for only just now, 18 years later, seeing you for what you really are- a REAL WOMAN. A hardworking, home-owning, ‘say it how it is’, donut eating, baggy pants-wearing, hilariously awesome woman.
And finally Miranda, I not only apologise to you, but I salute you, because you, my dear, are the woman who ate chocolate cake straight from the bin, and THAT’S WHAT REAL WOMEN DO .
x A Fellow Miranda x
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