What is a perfect relationship? I was thinking about this over the weekend as I ploughed through a Twitter and Insta feed of Valentines posts of the “Perfect” gift off the “Perfect” Partner. Romance is lovely and all, but expensive flowers and jewelry from your “Bae” isn’t what makes your relationship perfect. It’s something else.
To me a perfect relationship, or at least a healthy one, is a passionate relationship; passion through the good AND bad. Yes, call me crazy but I believe blazing rows to be an important ingredient to the perfect relationship. It shouldn’t be called Love at first sight, but Love at first fight, because that’s when you really begin to know each other. And it’s often during these heated disagreements that our heart is really beating hard for this person. Our logic may be telling us that we hate them, that they are wrong, that their driving us crackers and were about to lose our sh*t, but why else are we emotionally reacting in such a way? Why are we so worked up? Why are they driving us crazy?
Because we love them.
So don’t feel bad about you and your partner not always agreeing on everything in the “perfect” way. The Beard and I argue and I refuse to feel bad about it. It’s just the way we are. And now that all that V-day shizzle is over for another year, hopefully everyone can join us back in the real world, the one where you don’t speak for two days because one of you forgot to take the washing out the machine. And in honour of this, I’ve decided to share six of the most insignificant, dumbest, stupidest things the Beard and I have ever argued over, and no doubt many other couples out there too, because a couple that argues together, barbecues together, or something else smart and justifying…
#1 Miley Cyrus aka The Music Argument
On the last day of our trip to Amsterdam, a trip that all in all had been awesome with no hiccups, we spent a solid three hours not talking after we had had a blazing row over Miley Cyrus. Yes you read that right. Miley Cyrus. The pop singer. Three Hours. Silence. Lord knows how she even came up in our conversation, but I admitted I really liked her and the Beard, who despises her, literally lost. his. sh*t.
#2 A Bookcase aka the DIY Argument
Right before the Beard was headed off to America for a week on business, we didn’t speak for an entire day due to a screaming match over which way our new bookcase-shelf-thingy should face. So essentially we fell out over a piece of wood. The only reason the spell was broken and we made up is because we have a ‘No Fly on a Sulk’ rule in case the plane goes down and our last words to each other were “F*%# @&^$%*”
#3 Trousers aka the ‘Where did you move my stuff?’ Argument
I did not move his trousers. I repeat I did NOT move his trousers. He was absolutely convinced I had moved his trousers. Cue a 7.30am argument (so before coffee or food had been consumed) in which we screamed at each other, and then ‘Oh here they are’ on the chair where he left them.
#4 Lack of emoji’s aka the Miscommunication Argument
Yes we have argued about emoji’s. In fact we have had to enforce a rule that all joke/cheeky/sarcastic/flirty text messages must be accompanied by an emoji to reinforce the joke/cheekiness/flirtation/sarcasm. Because this…
looks so much more serious and meaner than this…
Emojis; they take a millisecond to tap and can completely change that grumpy text tone of yours.
#5 Pizza aka the ‘You ate my food’ Argument
I went into full [text message] rage when I woke up the morning after the night before, hungover and craving a cheesey pizza. I opened my fridge. It was gone. Eaten by him. You’d literally think he’d killed my pet or something. I put the caplocks on and went Doctor Foster crazy at him. Over a pizza.
#6 The Snooze Button aka the Early Morning Argument
This grumpy morning time routine has happened on many occasions. So many. In fact it happens most mornings. It may have even happened this morning. One of us has an alarm set far earlier than the other. But when the time comes we can’t face getting up. So we Snooze it. Then Again. And again. And again. I have to raise my hand and admit that I once snoozed my alarm every nine minutes from 6.45 till 8.10. I eventually got up because the Beard was threatening to throw my phone out the window. I think I actually did throw his on our wooden floor once.
There is no-one else in the world I argue with as passionately as I do with my boyfriend. And that’s okay. It’s healthy to argue. It means a) we have our own opinions b) we are completely comfortable with each other and c) it means that we care. The day we stop fighting each other is the day we stop caring what the other one thinks, and I never want that to happen.
Also, it would be super boring.