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Food London

Getting Messy at Meat Liquor โ€ข London

November 11, 2012

Meat Liquor –ย 74 Welbeck Street
Tube Stop: Oxford Circus, Bond Street
Time: 4.30/5pm (early dinner time)
Cuisine: American

This week the Beard and I celebrated our one year anniversary. Weโ€™ve been doing so well at sticking to our super-strict savings plan that we decided we had definitely earned the right to splash out on a decent meal and one that hadnโ€™t come from Aldi. So we hunted for a restaurant.

Not wanting to break the bank too much, we looked for somewhere reasonably priced. Iโ€™d seen quite a few friends on Facebook raving about Meat Liquor, a fairly new American Diner north of Oxford Street where the food was apparently super tasty and the bill nice and cheap. The only tricky thing about Meat Liquor is that they donโ€™t take bookings, and after reading a review online, it became apparent that Meat Liquor was one of those places that likeโ€™s to make people queue up outside to create a buzz around it. Although both the Beardย and I snorted in derision at the concept of queuing up for a diner, we were also intrigued; the food must be good if people are lining up outside, especially in this weather. So we decided why not. Its cheap, its tasty, and if we go for an early bite we can beat the โ€˜trendyโ€™ queues!

Meat Liquor ToiletSo we rocked up about 4.35pm last Thursday to no queue. Yay. We immediately loved the humour of Meat Liquor when we noticed a sign promoting its meat market in Covent Garden, which read – OUR BASTARD LOVECHILD IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS. I even giggled at the toilet doors reading DICKS and CHICKS. Unfortunately the humour was lost on the staff, who had the comedic value of a block of wood and the vocabulary to match. Our waiter had just enough energy to interact with us twice throughout our evening. The first was a not-so pleasant โ€œHi. Some drinks?โ€ as we sat down at our table, and, as we left the diner he said โ€œCatch you later.โ€ The rest of the time he was silent and even looked pissed off. Even when we ordered our food, and asked questions about the menu, he was on mute, doing nothing but leaning on our table and answering with a nod.

The next problem we encountered was the lighting. Not to sound like an old fart, but we could hardly see anything in there. I realise that this American Diner is also a cocktail bar, so it may not be as brightly lit as a regular diner, but it wasnโ€™t even 5pm on a Thursday and we could barely read the menu it was so dark. I didnโ€™t quite understand the dรฉcor, or layout of the restaurant. Lots of small booths and tables-for-two lined around the edge, with one big square bench in the centre, and in the centre of that, a round table that seated about 6 people. It was all very red, with animals painted on the ceiling. As a cocktail bar it worked great in a sort of seedy way, but as a diner, or restaurant (call what you will) it didnโ€™t work for me. I like to be able to see what I’m eating.

The food however, was a different story. Here is what we ordered:


A bit dark … and red?

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Phili-Cheese Fries: Fries, shaved rump steak, onions, mushrooms, provolone cheese ยฃ6


The Dead Hippie: 2 x Beef patties, Dead Hippie sauce, lettuce, cheese pickles, minced white onions ยฃ7.50


Cheeseburger: Beef, cheese, onions, pickles, lettuce, mustard, ketchup ยฃ6.50

The Phili-cheese fries were amazing, a little pile of greasy, cheesy, meaty heaven. The Beard and I were literally racing to finish it, fighting to munch the last of the scraps.

The first thing the Beard noticed about the burgers was that they were little small. I thought ยฃ6.50 was quite cheap for a cheeseburger in London, but if Iโ€™m being honest, even I expected something larger. The Beard did say his Dead Hippie burger was super-tasty, and from the way he breathed it in, I believe him. My cheeseburger was nice, plenty of cheese, but far too messy. Again, Iโ€™m going to sound old and boring, but we werenโ€™t given any plates. Our fries were in a bowl, but our burgers were brought to us on a tray next to the fries. So when the time came to devour my burger, a lot of it ended up on the kitchen roll โ€“ yes, kitchen roll โ€“ that I had used to create a make-shift plate. But despite getting messy, I did enjoy it and left feeling more than full.

So Meat Liquor a nutshell – great food let down by miserable service, and definitely not worth queuing for. But the one thing that really got our knickers in a twist was the cost of the drinks. Being on a budget we decided not to opt for a cocktail and ordered a coke each. We were given a glass of ice with lemon and then a can of coke. This didnโ€™t surprise me, it was obviously the style of the diner, but what did surprise me was when we got our bill and realised we had been charged ยฃ2.50 for a can of coke. This may seem reasonable to people happy to waste ยฃ5.00 on soft drinks, but considering I normally purchase 3 brand name cokes for ยฃ1 in Poundland (or 45p each), I was quite sickened by Meat Liquorโ€™s ability to charge up to 5 times itโ€™s worth. Our total bill was ยฃ24 – Pretty cheap for a nice dinner for two. But I wished weโ€™d stuck to tap water, as the bill would have been a truly amazing ยฃ19! And that is cheap for food as tasty as this.

Subsequently on Saturday night, much to the Beardsย chagrin, we queued for 10 minutes to dine at an All-You-Can-Eat Chinese for ยฃ10.95 each, and frankly that was much more satisfying.


This is how much a can of coke should cost

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