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And So the BITCH Lived Happily Ever After

May 7, 2011

I have come to the conclusion that no guy wants a girl who is easy to win, if shes easy to win, shes not a prize. If theres no effort required, they don’t feel as victorious. And men want that prize, they want a trophy on their arm.

Pfft. Stupid chasing games. To me, it seems so stupid to play games and do all of that exhausting chasing, which can in fact be damaging to ones mental health … but apparently it works. My own experiences aside, there is actual proof of this. It may not be the greatest or most reliable source in the world, but Fairy Tales! Fairy tales prove that men want the chase, they want the hunt, they want the bitch. Lets look at some classic example’s:

SNOWWHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS: So, Snow white and Prince Charming had totally hit it off, there was definitely chemistry, she was all ‘Oh wow listen to my amazing singing’ and he was like ‘Yeah check out my horse.’  He obviously thought she was hot stuff, and she clearly fancied the pants off him. But did the Prince make his move?? No! That would be too easy. It wasnt until after she had shacked up with seven other men, that he became keen (nice one Snow white, playing the jealousy card). Although it still didn’t work – he was that arrogant, it wasn’t until she was lying dead in a glass coffin, and therefore surely impossible to hook up with, did he decide to get of his arse and have a crack at it. And like, what, he’s so hot that one kiss and shes revived?? Pfft! As if.

CINDERELLA: They have a brief encounter. They flirt. They dance. Instant attraction. All very sexy, and even romantic. He has the perfect opportunity to sweep her off her feet, but he doesnt! And then she has to do a runner because of her curfew, and she disappears into the night, leaving nothing behind to secure a second meeting … oh, apart from her shoe (!?). The fact that he cant find her, or somehow reach her, drives him absolutely crazy. So with nothing but her shoe (eww) he goes knocking on every single persons door, trying to hunt her down – thats actually quite desperate & creepy, and surely one other person would have the same size feet as Cinderella – but anyway, it somehow worked. And he won her.

Just to point out, if a woman did this, the whole traipsing around with a shoe to find one man, a man they had met once, briefly – no doubt she would be arrested, or atleast have a small article printed about her in the local paper.

SLEEPING BEAUTY: This one is simple. She was completely unconscious. The ultimate game of hard to get, just become completely unconscious. Only when she was in this deep sleep, and being guarded by a psychopath Dragon Witch-Bitch (that would of course need to be slayed in the most dramatic fashion, making her look weak and him heroic) did the Prince suddenly decide he was up for the challenge.

I have come to realise that fairy tales arent about a man and woman who fall in love and live happily ever after. Fairy tales are stories about a woman who meets a man. She likes him. He likes her, but not quite enough to commit. So she has to create a labrynth of drama for him to go through, whether it be making him jealous, giving him the silent treatment, or the dragon thing, until she is extremely’ hard to get’ …. because only then will he want to commit.

And these fairy tales turned Romcoms/Disney films/PS3 games, are what girls are exposed to as they are growing up and becoming a woman; being led to believe its all so romantic, and could of course really happen, in some realistic modern way.